My wife worked in the ER for 25 years. She taught me the most important lesson about saying no as a CEO: The same moment looks very different depending on which side you’re on. When you visit the emergency room it’s a day you will remember your entire life. Everything about it, the injury, the ride to the hospital, everything is etched into your mind. For my wife, who looked after you, it was like every other day in the ER. It was utterly unmemorable. It was Tuesday before lunch. The asymmetry in this experience is extraordinary. I’ve come to realize that a similar asymmetry exists inside a company. For me, saying no to an idea might be one of 20 complicated decisions I made that day. For the person bringing the idea, it might feel like the moment that defines their week. They had prepared for it, obsessed over the presentation, the wording, the images. If I just dismiss it, they feel crushed. But by recognizing the asymmetry, and instead of a quick no, if I take the time to explain why it’s not right now - and what would have to change for it to make sense later - they feel heard and are more likely to bring other ideas in the future. The real skill in saying no is showing people you actually thought hard about it and have left the door open for when the timing is right. Its not easy. Its something I work on every day at @CerebrasSystems .